Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2006 MSS Newcomb Awards. The descriptions and accounts of this banquet and award ceremony will be transcribed and posted on ModSeriesScene.com. While you enjoy your appetizers, I shall begin to open these envelopes which contain the names of the winners of the various awards.

These envelopes have been hermetically sealed and have been sitting on Funk & Wagnall’s porch since noon today. You will be the first to find out who will be going home with a Newky. One of you might win one of them! Although, based on the attendance here in this convenience store parking lot, I have my doubts.

The Newky for the “Best Beard” goes to Larry “Grub” Solbo. The Grub is a crewmember for the TS Haulers #12 team on the Whelen Modified Tour. He is also a past crewmember for the late Tom Baldwin.

We have an award here for “Best New MSS Writer”. This Newky goes to Charli Brown. Charli was a tremendous asset to MSS this year as he provided Live Updates from several of the Whelen Southern Modified Tour races. We look forward to having him cover the full WSMT schedule in 2007.

This man won his seventh Whelen Modified Tour title this season. Tonight he wins the Newky for “Best Nickname”. Please help me welcome from Coventry, RI Mike “Stroker Ace” Stefanik. Mike couldn’t be here tonight so I will present his trophy at Lake Placid next weekend.

The award for “The Most Egregious Misuse of Tires” goes to any of the teams that bolted on more than four tires at Riverhead for the Tom Baldwin Memorial 77. That list is too numerous to mention and even if I could list them all, their names would be changed to protect the guilty. By the way, congratulations to Howie Brode for holding off all of those guys on the same tires he started the race with.

The “Public Relations Person of the Year” award goes to Dale Wolbrink. This is Dale’s second Newky in this category and she gets it despite the fact that she doesn’t consider me a jackass.

As we get ready to hand out the Newky for “Best Press Box Catering”, your main course is being served. Try not to get any of that cheese from the Nachos on you clothes. Thompson Speedway takes down this award for serving Prime Rib and Chicken Cordon Bleu.

The “Excellence in Entertaining the Fans” Newky once again goes to Jennerstown Speedway. Mike Milliron stirs the fans to frenzy while Dave Wheeler shoots t-shirts into the stands. I also applaud their child care center.

The second annual “Bob Finan award for Excellence in Crowd Interaction” goes to Bob Finan. Bob, here’s a trophy with your name in two places. Oh, Bob isn’t here. Maybe I can get his award to him at his Daytona 500 party.

Like I said last year, “It takes a great staff to handle big events. None of our tracks had any weekends bigger than New Hampshire International Speedway.” Fred Neergaard, Kristen Costa & their crew take down the “Best Public Relations Staff” Newky for the second year in a row. Shopgirl & I were treated like royalty in July and I really appreciated the transportation in September.

Martinsville Speedway has a stranglehold on the “Best Trophy” Newky. As long as they continue to present those Ridgeway grandfather clocks, that will be an honor that is tough to deny them.

Donny Lia gets two Newkys. He only had one wrapped up until the North-South Shootout™. At the NSS, Donny earned the “Fred Flinstone” award for the bonehead move of the year. I know he didn’t mean to do it but I can’t give that one to anyone else.

However, Donny also wins the highest honor that I can give. He wins the Newcomb “Determination Award”. Lia earned that by virtue of his spirited battle with Eddie Flemke, Jr. at Waterford in October. In case that isn’t good enough, I take a size 14EEEE for my Portland footwear.

The VFD 150 at Waterford earns the “Best Race” award. Despite the lighting problems and the delays due to the length of the weekly program, Donny and Eddie put on a show for the ages. It was exciting, sportsmanlike and it lasted for more than half of the race. That was well worth missing the boat and driving home.

This year’s “Best Fund Raiser” award goes to Steven Halpin. I didn’t even call him Pumpkinhead this time. Halpin’s efforts with the Tom Baldwin Memorial Open had to be recognized. Steve is already working on bringing four deserving kids from Long Island to the Victory Junction Gang Camp in 2007.

The Newky for “Person of the Year” goes to Eric Sanderson. I would echo the sentiments that NASCAR made in presenting him with their “Sportsmanship Award”. The Flamingo Racing Team owner is one of the classiest people I’ve ever met.

The “Spirit” award goes to Phil Kurze from Whelen Engineering. Phil’s enthusiasm is contagious. Thanks for being our biggest cheerleader in addition to being the Modified Tour’s biggest financial supporter.

I wanted to give a Newky to Ted Christopher for something. Unfortunately, Frank the homeless guy, who had been helping out with this ceremony, just stole his trophy. Somehow I don’t think there is room enough in Ted’s trophy case for a plastic cup wrapped in aluminum foil anyway.

This weekend is the Bo-Dyn Bobsled Challenge. We will be there to cover all of the action, get a few interviews and maybe Denis and I will put on a better show this year. Until we meet again, keep your eyes on the road and your wrists out of handcuffs. (Unless you’re into that kind of stuff.)